Doug PollardMarriage furphies – The Slippery Slope
Marriage furphies – an occasional series
One – The Slippery Slope
As the battle over equal marriage approaches the end point, the opposition becomes more ferocious and more than a little unhinged.
The arguments have ceased to be about marriage itself – I suspect because by now our opponents have realised they can hardly believe them themselves – and moved into desperation territory.
‘The slippery slope’ argument says that if we allow same-sex marriage, people will soon be marrying animals, vegetables, baked goods and motor vehicles. And we won’t be able to argue against it.
At first sight this seems just a really lame joke.
At second sight, it’s incredibly insulting.
It says “My love for my spouse is wonderful, holy thing deserving of celebration, respect and glorification.
“Your love for your spouse is like pleasuring yourself with a bagel or masturbating over a Monaro.”
This is obviously nonsense. The kind of love that yearns to form a permanent bond, a family unit, is the same regardless of sexuality.
Recognising same-sex marriage as equal to the historical variety therefore only ‘opens the door’ to itself. Anything else only wins a place in the big happy family house if it earns it on its own separate merits.
And if the case for limiting marriage is so feeble that you can’t marshall an irrefutable argument against marrying a Monaro, then I say, be kind. Let the Monaro have a little happiness.
In marriage’s current condition, you can fly to Vegas, get wasted and marry someone – so long as they are of the opposite sex - you picked up in the bar. In an Elvis-themed storefront chapel. And then divorce them a day later.
That’s about as respectful and holy as marrying your Shitzu, a relationship that would almost certainly last longer.
So if you want to improve the status of marriage, recognise that it’s really about two people – of whatever sex/gender - forming a stable sexual relationship unit, in which to raise the next generation, if they so choose.
If you want to talk about slippery slopes, it seems to me marriage went down one years ago.
What we’re trying to do is throw it a lifeline and haul it back up.
