Doug PollardHappy Bi Day!
DOUG: The little surprise I got in my email box yesterday – and today, informs me that today [Thursday] is: International Celebrate Bisexuality Day. We don’t often talk about bisexuality on the programme, it’s a bit like some of the bits of our alphabet soup. We don’t give it enough time. I didn’t even realise there was such a thing as Celebrate Bisexuality Day so my next guest is going to tell us about it. From Bisexual Alliance Victoria joining us on the line now, we have James Dominguez. Good morning, James.
JAMES: Good morning, Doug. How are you?
DOUG: I’m very well. How can we celebrate bisexuality, today?
JAMES: M’mm - - -
DOUG: Apart from the obvious [laughs]
JAMES: - - - this isn’t our little event. It’s an event that was started in the US a few years ago - - -
DOUG: Oh, yes.
JAMES: I didn’t know a lot about it, either – m’mm, one of our members said: hey, it’s International Bisexuality Day(sic) next week – that we should do something about it and we said ‘okay’ [laughs] - - -
DOUG: [laughs]
JAMES: - - - so - - -
DOUG: (and)You got landed with the doing?
JAMES: No – well, we’re going to have a little dinner that – m’mm, has turned into a very large dinner. So that’s our way of doing it - - -
DOUG: M’mm, m’mm.
JAMES: - - - but – yeah, it’s a good thing to have.
DOUG: Bisexuality tends to be as I hinted in my opening, there, one of the forgotten letters in the GLBTIQ – however many we’re putting on the list these days.
JAMES: [laughs] Yes. Yeah, bisexual invisibility is a problem that (is) one of the things we try to address. In Bi Victoria which was the previous group, which is now sadly folded as an incorporated body [indistinct] new body formed by some of the same people and – yes - - -
DOUG: You also get a certain amount of cold-shouldering(sic) form the gay community, too don’t you – I mean, you didn’t get too good-a-reception at Pride last time out did you?
JAMES: M’mm - - -
DOUG: There was a bit of cat calling.
JAMES: - - - I don’t think there was an official Bi presence at Pride last year, I actually marched with PolyVic which is – sort of, a related organisation. There’s a lot of crossover of some of the same people in it. But the year before there was a little bit of cat calling, a bit of ‘get off the fence, make up your mind’ stuff from the crowd - - -
DOUG: M’mm, m’mm.
JAMES: - - - which make it – it’s a disappointment. But to be honest we tend to get that a little bit every year so - - -
DOUG: [laughs]
JAMES: - - - we’ve pretty much gotten used to it. It’s still a disappointment when it happens - - -
DOUG: It’s because I think, people don’t understand what bisexuality is. In the sense that it’s not a question of you are continuously bisexual all the time, kind of thing – is it, you’re - - -
JAMES: Well, that’s the thing – m’mm - - -
DOUG: - - - you-are-what-you-are when you’re-with-who-you’re-with, is how I overheard one person put it.
JAMES: - - - yeah. Well, it really depends; there are different ways of being bisexual. There are different ways of approaching it. But the fact is if you are a monogamous bisexual and there are plenty of monogamous bisexuals out there if you’re with a same-sex partner you’re assumed to be gay and sometimes it’s just not worth the effort to correct the assumption - - -
DOUG: M’mm, m’mm.
JAMES: (and)If you’re with an opposite-sex partner you’re assumed to be straight.
DOUG: Yeah. It’s easier to let it ride?
JAMES: Yeah. In a lot of cases it is. A lot of people find it to be ‘I can have this conversation’ or I can go: okay, fair enough.
DOUG: It’s a bit – like, if you’re gay you’re forever having to come out.
JAMES: Yes.
DOUG: (and)I guess, you have the same problem?
JAMES: Yeah - - -
DOUG: In a sense.
JAMES: - - - and there is – part of the problem as well, with bisexuality – I mean, the gay community has a very strong presence and identity. They have events and celebrations and it’s all very – these days – it’s all very positive and affirming, it’s all about being seen and being accepted as a real person. For who you are – and that’s fantastic - - -
DOUG: We have fantastic symbols – like, the rainbow flag for example - - -
JAMES: - - - yes. Bisexuality, it doesn’t – m’mm, a friend of mine has described organising bisexual events as herding cats – its funny - - -
DOUG: Well, I don’t know. You always hear that about organisations, I used to work for Mensa and they used to say the same thing about our membership.
JAMES: [laughs]
DOUG: Maybe you need a symbol, maybe you need a flag. Maybe you need to have all these visible things; a pin you could wear, or – whatever, how ‘bout that Chinese Yin Yang thing? The black-and-white thing.
JAMES: Yes – I, about five years ago I designed myself a tattoo to celebrate my own sexuality. Which is the symbol for infinity – the number 8, turned to the side - - -
DOUG: M’mm, m’mm?
JAMES: - - - with the - - -
DOUG: Yeah, I know the one. Möbius strip.
JAMES: The masculine arrow off one of the halves of – the infinity symbol and the – so, the Venus and Mars symbols - - -
DOUG: Yes.
JAMES: - - - joined in infinity. I’ve shown it off to a lot of people, ‘cause I’m friends with Sally Goldner, when she saw the symbol she went ‘it’s like gender’, it’s the perspective of gender – the non-binary, gender spectrum that trans people are trying to make more visible. Other people have seen it, it’s about relationships and fluidity and I like the fact that it’s about how – like, genders without limits. Or boxes. One of the problems with bisexuality is that a lot of people are more comfortable identifying as gay or straight – like, you get a lot of for example – bisexual men are quite happily married to women and they’re happy to go off and seek their bit on the side and it works for them, you know? They’re happy with that arrangement; but of course, it’s not a very positive image for those who - - -
DOUG: It’s not very fair on the partners, either.
JAMES: - - - bisexuals are. In fact, this is one of the reasons bisexuals are so hard to organise is that we’re very, very different people and almost as part of who we are is the fact that we are independent and we have our own ideas about how to do things and – yeah, it’s certainly had – I mean, there’s no typical gay man or lesbian - - -
DOUG: The same problem everybody faces is that in point of fact, nobody wants to be separate. Nobody wants to be singled-out, we all want to be part of a big, diverse family - - -
JAMES: Yes.
DOUG: - - - if I can put it that way; but unfortunately, in order to get to that point you have to stand-up and say: I am gay – or – I am bi – or – trans, or whatever I am. In order to be counted, in order to be noticed at all. Otherwise, you get completely overlooked.
JAMES: Yeah, that’s right.
DOUG: I suppose it’s one of those horrid paradoxes that we’re in the midst of as a society, working our way through?
JAMES: Yes, I think so too – and one of the dreams that we have and people like Sally Goldner, with her trans activism as well - - -
DOUG: M’mm?
JAMES: - - - is that one day that activism – you know, that kind of club and support network won’t be necessary. One day - - -
DOUG: One day - - -
JAMES: - - - people will be accepted as people and saying: I’m a person too, I do exist - - -
DOUG: - - - yeah. Let’s hope we’re moving a little bit nearer to it – until that time, happy celebrate bisexuality day and I hope you have a good dinner.
JAMES: Yes - - -
DOUG: All right.
JAMES: - - - I’m sure it’ll be great.
DOUG: Thanks for joining us this morning, James.
JAMES: Thank you very much.
DOUG: That was James Dominguez, there. From the Bisexual Alliance of Victoria, which I didn’t realise is a new group replacing BiVic which used to exist. The changing of the guard, the changing of the hats; everything old is new again.
